Choose your highest good

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I am really amazed at the impact stress has on my well being.  I typically strive to keep my stress levels really low.  I manage my time and try not to commit to things that will create conflict, stress or a situation I’d rather not encounter.  But still, these things happen.  Life happens.

And what matters most is how I handle it.  Last week was an example of super stress that I could not avoid.  I found that it had a really negative effect on my eating habits.  When I came home at the end of the day I felt drained and like I had no energy left for caring for myself.  It was tough.

Yes, I ordered carryout once, but it was Thai food and I stuck with a chicken salad with no rice or noodles.  I ate only half and put the rest on top of a green salad for lunch the next day.  Good call.  I was aware of my resistance to continue the healthy practices, but kept up to the best of my ability.

What I didn’t expect was that after the week ended, my exhaustion prevailed.  My resistance grew even stronger and I had to summon my inner resources to not completely dive off the deep end.  I just wanted to eat and lay on the couch for two days.  I wanted to procrastinate and put off everything!

I gave myself permission to rest on Saturday, after getting to the Farmer’s Market and grocery to stock up on healthy foods.  On Sunday I just wanted to make bacon, drink coffee and lay on the couch again.  Instead, I found the motivation (somewhere in the recesses of my will) to eat right and then complete a task that I had been avoiding for weeks – maybe months.

I felt so much relief when it was complete that I kept going and got other things done, too.  This is the crux of it all, isn’t it?  Why is it that the things that will make me feel the best are the most difficult to begin?

Feeding the positive path only propagates more positivity.  Giving in to the procrastinating voices only creates guilt and resistance.  I constantly ask myself, what do I really want?

Ultimately I want to feel the positivity without the work.  Don’t we all?  But it just doesn’t happen that way.  I have to choose it and act.  I slow myself down, connect with my heart and remember that the present moment is the most powerful thing I have.  I know that in that moment my choice affects the next moment and all that follows.

I also know that I am most vulnerable during those times when I am tired and stressed.  At those times I practice self compassion, release myself from expectations and am kind to my spirit.  I take a break and then move on when I am able.

Be kind to yourself, dear reader, and remember your heart’s longings.  Stop and choose your highest good.  Namaste.



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